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23 Things I Learned in 23 Years

Today I am turning 23!! And as I am coming back from my holiday I feel a little inspired to share with you a few of the things that I learnt in my 23 years. Of course inspiration strikes in the middle of the night when I’m trying to fall asleep, but I thought this would be an interesting post idea šŸ™‚ Enjoy!

23-lessons-23-years1. Becoming 110% confident with who you are takes a long time, but it feels amazing.
In my opinion confidence is the most attractive thing about a person. And while it takes long to build, once you get there it feels amazing. Another thing is, it doesn’t matter if it’s makeup, that new pair of jeans or a couple shots that boost your confidence. Go out there, have a great time and dance like nobody’s watching. Even if you are not at the club.

2. If you don’t make your dreams come true, nobody will.
Work hard for your dreams. No matter how childish or silly they seem to others. If you are passionate about it or if it makes you happy, don’t stop until your dreams become reality. Ain’t nobody else got the power to make that happen for you.

3. Leisure reading is actually relaxing and fun.
When I was in school I despised reading. I could never relate to these old novels and their boring stories in small villages. However since last summer I started reading to relax and make the time pass by, and I actually really enjoy it. I choose my own topics, from modern love stories with lots of adult action, to inspiringĀ or motivational books. And I love it!

4. Travelling is awesome!
I am fortunate enough to be able to travel the world and I love it! It started last summer so I haven’t been to a ton of places yet, but my travel bucket list is getting bigger and bigger. Would you like to see a post on that?

5. If it doesn’t make you happy, let it go.
I talked about this in my last post, Dropping Out of University: Why I Did It & Best Thing Ever? The idea is simple: if it makes you miserable, unhappy or even angry, you have to let it go. People, school, relationships, jobs, whatever.Ā  Some toxic things (such as negative people)Ā are actually easy to get rid of once you stop making excuses for them. For others, you may need a backup plan. You can’t just quit your job and expect a miracle to happen. But you get the idea.

6. Happiness is in your own hands. And happiness is subjective.
A room filled with makeup would get me ecstatic, while my guy friends would roll their eyes. This doesn’t mean they are foolish, nor does it mean my ‘goal’ is worthless. Also, it doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t go after what I want. On the contrary, if it makes me happy then I am going to get/accomplish it. Because I can.

7. You don’t need to explain yourself to everybody.
You know that quote, Those who mind don’t matter and these who matter don’t mind? That’s absolutely true. Your choices, beliefs and plans, they are all yours so stand up for yourself and remember that you don’t owe anybody an explanation.

8. Comfort zone eventually becomes boring.
I realized this at work. I used to be all about chilling, making the time pass by and get money in my account as easy as possible. But now I’m exactly the opposite: I like stepping out of my comfort zone. I love pushing myself (and my co workers) and getting results. Now when I have a quiet night or free time not only do I get bored, I also have no idea what to do with myself.

9. Average is pretty boring too.
Average people and their average minds, particularly, but it works for anything else. I realized this when I spent some time with someone with an extremely simple, average mind. So simple you could call it half primitive. At first it was quite refreshing: plain mind, not too worried about anything, about making progress, about having a goal in life. It didn’t take long until I did not know how to get myself out of it faster. It was so, so boring. And I deserve a hell lot more than just average.

10. Taking a chance doesn’t hurt.
If you don’t try, then you’ll never get there, wherever that is. You know how I got my promotion? I just went ahead and sent a CV and cover letter. Nobody had to know and I did not make a big fuss about it. I just took my chances. I thought ‘if this doesn’t work out, I have nothing to lose. I already hated what I’m doing anyway, and it cannot get worse. Things can only getĀ better from here. If people find out and try to give me a hard time? Well, very likely they already have other reasons to talk about me when I’m not there, so what’s another one? I don’t care.’ If it’s people that are stopping you from taking a chance, go back to point #7. If it’s anything else, go back to #8 and decide if you wanna be in a comfort zone for the test of your life.

11. Plans don’t always work out, but that’s okay.
That’s kind of annoying, but I made peace with the idea. I kind of stopped making big plans and just wing it most of the time. Look at me being spontaneous 23 years-old, haha.

12. I love asking for opinions. But they never actually influence my decision making.
It must be that I am just passionately curious about what people have to say and how their mind works. However most of the time I asked for opinions I was already set on doing something anyway.

13. You can overcome your fears.
I hate bringing up my car accident, but I’m gonna use it for reference. When I went to pick up my new car, I was dead scared. I am not sure what I was fearing, but I felt so scared I could vomit. Then I realized I’m fine. I have nothing to fear, nothing terrible can happen, I am confident in myself and in my skills and everything is going to be alright. Guess what, every thing was fine.

14. RealĀ conversations are more appealing than small talk.
As I mentioned earlier, I like seeing how people’s minds work. While a lil bit of gossip may be fun, and my mom telling me that it’s raining outside can be helpful, chances are these chit-chats will sooner or later bore me. However for me it’s more appealing to have real conversations with somebody. Get my brain working or just get me invested in whatever you have to say, you know.

15. It’s important to see the half-full part of the glass.
Some things, especially bad things, may not make sense sometimes, but there is always a lesson to be learnt. You know what they say, if it didn’t kill you then it made you stronger. Which leads me to my next point…

16. Everything happens for a reason.
I did not always believe it, but the more I think about this the more I agree. For example, last year I was in a relationship that ended quickly because he turned out to be a liar and possibly a cheater. But do you know what good came out of that? While it was good, I was finally shown that somebody can treat me like the queen I think know I am (hello, narcissist here!). I also realized that before I was wasting my time with people who had no ambition, no drive and no goal in life. And that I should look for someone who makes me want to be the best version of myself, rather than oh yeah let’s hang out, kiss, netflix & chill and do whatever. I am worthy of a man, not of a little boy trapped into a 20-something year old’s body, so I just started ignoringĀ the jokers. Stay positive and everything will be alright in the end!

17. Time is precious.
This relates to point #5 and again it’s something I talked about in Dropping Out of University: Why I Did It & Best Thing Ever?Ā Just like I decided not to waste my valuable time with tykes, I also decided that if something did not make me better as a person, then it’s a waste of time. Except TV Shows, I love my series.

18. I can’t be bothered about sweets!
Okay, this post was too serious, so I have to change it up a little. Time for something random. I don’t care about sweets. Or cakes. Like, at all. Unless it’s waffles or ice cream! I am more of a salty snacks type of person. I am upset? Gimme pop corn. That time of the month? I’m gonna have the whole bag of chips, thank you. Need something to munch on? Either which will do. Speaking of TV shows, I think that’s how salty snacks grew a lot on me. See, an episode is what, around 40 minutes long? In 40 minutes I can have a whole entire large chocolate by myself, half a box of candy, maybe an ice cream too. Then I realize I’m only 22 minutes in and after all that sweet I need something salty. Whereas a bag of pop corn will last me for at least a good 35 minutes, I like it a lot better and I don’t feel like munching on something else after. šŸ™‚

19. I am terrible at keeping in touch.
It’s not that I don’t care about or that I don’t miss certain people, I just always find myself doing something else instead of sending a “Hey, what’s up?” text or replying to that message from 2 weeks ago. It kind of sucks, but I made peaceĀ with it. I’ve been like that for 23 years now, and I don’t see this bad habit changing overnight. Well, not that I am doing anything to change it anyway…

20. I hate phone calls.
Making or receiving them, doesn’t matter. Unless somebody is dying, I will blockĀ an incoming call in like 0.2 seconds. I told one of my friends, who always triesĀ to call me 3 times before sending a text to ask me for a lift to work, ‘You see how fast I deny your phone calls? Just message me in the first place and you’ll get an answer twice as fast’.

21.Ā You have to accept that others are different.
When I was younger I couldn’t always understand why not everybody thinks the same way I do. One example is I could never see why women cut their hair short, when long and luscious locks are so beautiful and feminine. But eventually I learnt to accept that people are different, respect their opinions/style/point of view and realize that everybody is beautiful in their own way. Even if certain things seem stupid to me, and I don’t fully understand them, I am slowly learning to respect what others think/feel. It doesn’t mean I have to agree, but I just keep an open mind.

22. People stress over the most stupid things.
I’d say I am rather lucky not to overthink too much, and small things don’t always bother me. However that doesn’t spareĀ me from the irritation I get when I have to deal with people who panic over the smallest things. One example, I sort of broke a pair of tweezers while trying to open a jar of salsa (yes, I am so smart I know). I bent them and they wouldn’t pluck anymore. My mom reacted as if someone died, or the end of the world was coming. Umm hiii, there are hundreds of tweezers in shops, I’ll just buy another pairĀ tomorrow. No need to stress, thank you.


23. I love being a narcissist.
This is not meant to throw shade at anyĀ oneĀ who don’t believe in themselves or struggle with other personality issues, but honestly in a world filled with self-conscious people, I am glad to love myself. I am happy with myself and how far I’ve become. Am I overly confident and sometimes act a little arrogant? Of course, but I very much loveĀ the way I am.I know my worth and what I deserve. Ā Besides,Ā nothing can bring me down.

 

So there you have it, 23 lessons in 23 years. šŸ™‚
Do you have any life lessons you’d like to share with me? I love reading your comments!

Until next time…
xoxo,
Denisa

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