I’ve been single for quite a while now and people often ask me why. Spoiler alert: it’s not because I am an extreme feminist or because ‘men are horrible’. That’s nonsense. Nor is it because I like jamming to Beyonce’s ‘Single Ladies’. Also, people often tell me that ‘we need to find you a boyfriend!’ or ask ‘why is a pretty girl like you single?!’. While that’s somewhat cute and thoughtful, I prefer it the way I am. Here are 5 reasons why:
#1 It allowed me to put things into perspective.
This time last year I couldn’t imagine myself not being in a relationship. Actually, I am (or used to be) quite clingy. And then my relationship ended. No scratch that, 2 relationships failed in a couple months. While one of them was long overdue to be over, the other one ended quite unexpectedly.
But taking some ‘ time off’ allowed me to put things into perspective. I realized I was jumping into relationships either for the sake of it, maybe I was horny or just because I wanted someone to hang out with. After all, I didn’t want to be “lonely”.
I don’t know about you, but these reasons don’t seem valid to me anymore. Never have I imagined living the rest of my life with someone. Never have any of my exes managed to get the best out of me. I mean, I am past the Netflix & Chill phase, I would appreciate someone that can make my brain work a little. Someone who motivates me to be better and maybe more productive.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not a ‘hopeless romantic’. On the contrary, that makes me roll my eyes and gag a little. But deep down somewhere I would like someone who keeps inspiring me. And who keeps making me fall in love (like, for real) over and over again. I have never managed to keep the butterflies feeling for longer than a couple months, and often times I just found myself… stuck.
#2 I am TURNED OFF by others’ lack of Ambition and Confidence.
Let’s talk about ambition first. Sure, there are good looking guys everywhere. I think. But here’s the thing. Eventually, I will get bored of your pretty eyes, fit body and cool hair. I am tired of people who live waiting for the weekend, get drunk and then repeat the same routine over and over. As I said before, average is boring.
I want somebody who has goals. And ambition to achieve their own dreams. I suppose there’s nothing wrong with sitting on your bum and dreaming about being famous, but are you doing anything to get there?!? If no, lemme break it down: ‘one day’ – actions = I’M BORED. And turned off. I don’t want to in a relationship with someone who turns me off. That means that during Netflix&Chill sessions I will be more and more dry, and eventually get an infection, eww.
Next, confidence. I think that’s the most attractive quality in a person. And so many people are lacking it these days!!! It’s sad, really. I need someone who is a little more c*cky and arrogant than I. Someone who knows his self-worth and always walks in like they own the place.
I’m not even going to dive deep into the “I can’t believe I got a girl like you!” or “You didn’t say ‘love you’ before you hung up!” but I’ll briefly go over it. Boy, first of all, if you are in a relationship with me one of the first rules you need to know is I HATE talking on the phone. So don’t start getting all idiotic with me when all I want to do is hang up and return to texting.
As far as getting ‘a girl like me’ goes, wow. Y’all seemed more confident when you shoved your tongue down my throat. So where is that coming from? I’m all about open communication, but stuff like that… Honey, no. Just NO. It’s simple: if you think you’re “not worthy” of me, then you either aren’t or you can fake it ’til you make it. In all honesty, I no longer have time or patience to sugarcoat you.I am TURNED OFF by others' lack of Ambition and Confidence! I am sure You can relate too. Click To Tweet
like love selfishly focusing on myself.
I am a narcissist. So I love doing everything I feel like doing. And everything that makes me happy.
For example, having a different holiday each month this summer will make me over the moon happy. The good thing about being single is I don’t have to worry if the guy can’t afford it. Or if he’s is too scared to go to Tunisia because they had a terror attack 1 year and a half ago. Yep, I’m not gonna be held back. And don’t even think about “but babe I don’t mind if you go alone” rubbish. What’s the point of being in a relationship if I do stuff alone? None.
Also, I’m over here trying to make my life better. I want more income in order to make all my dreams come true, so I am focusing on that and that alone. Sure, I’ll go to a party and to a movie every now and then. But to be honest I don’t have time for distractions. And sometimes no patience.
Not to mention, it was kind of awesome going to the club and grinding all over my (former) best-guy-friend. And not have to worry about what someone else feels or thinks. I feel like none of my exes danced, or even if they knew how to dance they were never in the center of attention. Umm, hi, narcissist here, I need all eyes on me.
#4 I became materialistic.
Sort of. It’s stupid to think that 16-to-22 years old me didn’t care about the little things. But that changed. One of my friends once told me that ‘I would need someone with a lot of money, or I would get bored’. And the more I thought about it, the more it made sense.
Start from the basics. I’d appreciate someone with his own place and car. Do you know how awesome it is to take my heels out of my closet and wear them, knowing someone else is driving?! As far as them having their own place (not sharing!) it’s pretty simple. It shows a certain level of maturity. “Hey look at me! I am a 20-something year old responsible enough not to live with my mum anymore.” Also, “I make a good living and I have financial freedom.”
Besides, I like being spoiled. Take me out for an ice cream, for dinner or drinks, to see a movie. If you keep me locked in your bedroom, I will lose interest.
And oh, have I mentioned I have a new addiction for travelling? It would be hard for some to keep up with me at this point, so I guess I just have to keep looking for Prince
Charming Filthy-Rich. Yes, I did mention before that I am shallow.
#5 I am a narcissist, so I am perfectly fine by myself.
Yeah sure, I do miss certain things about having a relationship. I guess. But at the end of the day, I’m ok. No, I’m more than okay. I am just perfect. I am on the right path to making my dreams come true. And I am free. Have you ever felt suffocated in a relationship? Jeez, let’s not go there!
I don’t need a love life to feel fulfilled. Also, as a true narcissist, I have my own ways and ideas that I will NOT change for anyone (would you like to see a post on that?).
I have my own personality. I am myself. And I don’t need to ‘belong to someone’. I don’t need or want to be known as ‘somebody’s girlfriend’, I need and want to be known as Denisa. Or Deny. Or Jinxie, you get the idea.I don't need a love life to feel fulfilled. #single Click To Tweet
#6 Bonus: I am not desperate.
Dear people who feel the need to try to find me a boyfriend, I am not desperate! Everything is under control, and if I ever get too horny there’s a couple options at my local Poundland. Hint hint: that little £1 bullet can get me further than any guy ever has.
And these are some of the reasons why I’m still single. Some of you might say I’m shallow. Or silly. Or ‘too self-centered’. Perhaps I haven’t met the ‘right kind of guy’. But I don’t care. I am content with where and who I am. 100% content.
Are you single or in a relationship? Did you feel like you can relate to what I’m talking about? I’d love to start a conversation! Leave me a comment down below :).
Until next time…